Jennifer M. Rodriguez - Family and Relationship Coach
Positively Jen

Conservative Feminist: My Rationale

As many of you already know, my daughters and I are survivors of a near lethal domestic abuse situation.  This experience has influenced my belief system and thoughts about what it means to be a woman in this world and in my own home.

There is a widely held belief out there that feminist ideals belong to the leftist liberals, and that conservatives are the enemies of feminism.  I want to challenge that belief.  

I am a conservative feminist, and that is not an oxymoron.

I have first hand experience of what it is like to not have freedom.

Why This Feminist Refused to March: Topic 1--Women's Rights

Yesterday, millions of people marched for women's rights.  But it wasn't just about women's rights--it was about the rights of minorities, LGBT communities, anti-Trump, anti-Conservative, anti-Republican, and pretty much any other super divisive topic that has been polluting the media waves for the past two years (or longer).

I'm sick of it.

Our social culture is sick, and has been sick for a long time.  And the scary thing is, people are quick to point fingers and play the blame game; but NO ONE IS OFFERING UP REAL SOLUTIONS!

Easy Life, Abused Wife

What were you doing ten years ago? Where were you living? Did you have kids yet? Where were you working? Think about how much you have grown over the past ten years. Have you grown a lot? Not so much? Maybe things are a little tougher for you now than they were then?
 
Ten years ago on March 31, 2005 my ex-husband was arrested for domestic abuse and false imprisonment. Technically, I think his arrest was just after midnight on April 1; but you get the idea.

Put down the homework for a while and do something fun!

I was thinking about King David, and what kind of man he was. A few weeks ago I watched a Bible history show on TLC or History Channel or one of those, I can’t remember the details. Anyways, they detailed his accomplishments when he was young—the famous David and Goliath showdown, how he helped alleviate the King’s headaches through his music, his rise to power. 

What strikes me is that David had a few talents as a youth, specifically playing the harp and using a sling shot. These two talents might not be too impressive today, and they probably weren’t super impressive back then, either.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: It has made me more beautiful.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (or PTSD) doesn't sound real pretty.  Trauma, stress, and disorder are highly negative words, and the disorder itself interferes with healthy relationships, how a person views the world and the people in it, and can even prevent them from holding down a job and functioning as a normal person in society. 

As a result of living through a domestic abuse situation, I now struggle with PTSD.  I have done some healing over the past nine years, and I know I have a lot more healing to do.

What would you do if your child care provider treated your children poorly?

Alexandra at age 5When my daughter Alexandra was about 7 she got in trouble while I was at work for not following directions.  Her caregiver locked her out of the house on the front porch and showed her pictures of missing children and told her, “This is what’s going to happen to you if you can’t behave in my house.” She begged to go home and the caregiver said, “OK, start walking!”  At the time I lived about 20 minutes away by car.  When the caregiver walked into another room Francesca (who was 5 at the time) unlocked the door and let Alexandra back in.

Solving social issues isn't black and white

In today’s American social culture there is a focus on right and wrong.  What direction does the moral compass point?  Where is the line between hate speech, freedom of speech, and censorship?  Our community leaders are tasked with creating laws and policy that allow for independent freedom without infringing on the rights of others, and lately that includes more and more social consideration than in previous generations.  

Many people have extreme beliefs of right and wrong.  While it is great to know exactly where you stand on certain issues, sometimes that stance can blind you to the issues on the other side of the argument.

Crocheted Orca Hat

So, besides being an author, advocate for children, and educator at SeaWorld, I'm also a crochet and craft enthusiast!  I have had many requests for the pattern for the orca hat I made for my nephew.  The bad news is I created that pattern as I went, so it is going to be somewhat "rough."  I have never written a pattern before, so if you know how I can improve it, PLEASE let me know!
 
You need a skein of black yarn, a skein of white yarn, and a K hook.  You can download the PDF of the pattern

NFL Players Behaving Badly: The Martin/Incognito Bullying Situation

So here are the facts as I understand them.  I'm sure more facts will come out as the situation unfolds, but I'm going to evaluate the situation based on these four facts:
 
1) Jonathan Martin walked out on NFL's Miami Dolphins because Richie Incognito bullied him.
 
2) Richie Incognito was suspended from the Miami Dolphins to allow for a full investigation.
 
3) Richie Incognito sent abusive, threatening and racist messages to Jonathan Martin last spring.
 
4) Miami Dolphin leadership encouraged Richie Incognito to "toughen up" Jonathan Martin.

Sometimes all you need is a change

This summer my family and I made the decision to relocate.  We left the beautiful weather of Sacramento and headed for the blistering Texas heat of San Antonio, where the salsa is so hot it knocks your boots off!  I had been feeling more and more trapped living in Sacramento despite having a non-profit that I loved, loads of wonderful friends, the supportive in-laws, and many successes.  The thing weighing me down--I could not escape the oppression of my ex-husband or the oppression of the family courts who were more and more the ones in control of my life, or so it seemed.